Part Two: Five Things Strong Women Don’t Do

Hey girlfriends, last week I covered Five Things Strong Women Don’t Believe. Below is the recap.

  1. I am not a leader
  2. I am disqualified in some way
  3. I am too busy to impact my world
  4. My weaknesses define me
  5. I am not good enough.

You can read the whole blog here.

In this post, I am covering Five Things Strong Women Don’t Do.

Like I said last week, this is good medicine.

Consider where you may need to step it up. I find that the more space I put between the thing I need to do and taking an action step to do it, the worse I tend to feel or the greater the procrastination sets in.

So, take the medicine and move on to what’s next. This is what strong women do.

1. Minimize My Standing as a Daughter of God

Let’s look face to face, eye to eye, and speak truth to one another.

When you are a daughter, there is nothing that you can or can’t do to eliminate your standing. In other words, God celebrates your wins with you and He pours out grace the rest of the time. Most of life is lived in the “rest of the time.”

Most of life is lived in the simple moments of commutes and dishes. Discerning when to speak up and when to let it go. In filling water bottles and coolers with snacks. Talking to God in the dark when no one else is present. Understanding the meaning of tears. Gently giving patience when your emotions call you in another direction.

It is here in these simple moments that we are living out our daughtership. Probably with more depth and meaning than when we are standing out and being recognized for the good we do in public.

Your daughtership is as much about what you can do and can accomplish as it is about your daily weaving in and out of glory. 

God always anticipated both. He greatly desires to live with you in and through both because you are His daughter. End of story. Amen.

2. Ignore Care for My Physical Health

I’m going to keep it short and simple. Please do at least these three things:

Annual Visit to the OB/GYN

Annual Mammogram

Annual Visit to your general practitioner with blood testing.

Please know what you need to know and address what you need to address. Don’t hide from your health. There is a big difference between prevention, treatment and past the point of both. If you can’t bring yourself to do it for yourself, do it for the people who love you.

3. Ignore My Mental Health

If you know my story, you know that I’ve been down roads of depression, anxiety and panic the last five years. These illnesses came about during times of intense, prolonged stress.

When you are going through hard stuff, don’t assume you will just get through the hard stuff.

We have complicated brains and emotions and so does everyone we interact with.

Keep a good counselor on hand. Go before you really need to go.

I’ve learned over the years to catch myself before the free fall. If I find myself unable to make decisions on a regular basis, I probably need to talk through the decisions or figure out the reasons why I can’t proceed. If I feel sadness hovering over me and I can’t push back, I probably need to spend some time with my therapist. If I am afraid in the night and can’t get enough sleep, it’s time to find my center again with some help.

If you can’t afford to go to counseling, there are so many local resources. Two of my favorites are Spanish River Counseling Center and Sheridan House.

4. Allow the Fear of Appearances to Hold Me Back

Last year, I listened to the testimony of a woman who bravely battled her addiction to masturbation and pornography. She told her story with grace and truth to a live audience of thousands.

I remembered her when I thought of the trap of appearances.

Most of us are not willing to share openly the battle we experience on the inside, especially when the battle pertains to appetite and desire. Is there something you won’t do or share because you are afraid of the impression it will make on others? Maybe you think a person or people will walk away or judge you?

Shame and isolation are a dangerous combination.

The fear of appearances strongly influences what we won’t do or won’t share about ourselves. Most of the time, this fear will hold us back from freedom, connection and calling.

Can you and I choose to take one small step forward? Is it body image? Rough back story? Tough set of current facts? Will you share one piece of your shame to one other safe person?

Shame is only safe in isolation. Darkness wins until you step into community. While the step forward may be scary, the outcome is probably beyond your current expectation of God’s goodness. Strong women don’t let the fear of appearances hold them back.

5. Allow Comparison to Stunt Me

Whether you find yourself on the side of better than or less than, comparison will stop you from living out who you were created to be. When you find yourself in the comparison trap, acknowledge that appearances are exactly what they are.

Don’t assume her story. Remember that God has a good, long-term plan for you.

Moreover, begin to walk in gratefulness for what you do have.

There have been times in my life when my grateful list sounded pathetic to me. So be it. This is where we begin when we are walking out of comparison.

Finally, be inspired by others. Instead of taking a critical view of the person you are sizing up, take a few mental notes on how you can be inspired by her.

Sweet friend, strong woman, get moving with your best life. It’s your calling to make the world a better place, not to judge what someone else is up to.

I am going to leave you with Joshua 1:9.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:9


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