Never in 1000 years would I have thought I would title a post with the words Me Day. I am in favor of self care, life giving routines and loving ourselves as God loves us. But Me Day? It sounds very unJesus.
I come from a long history of women who wipe themselves out. We show up, serve and give the shirt off our backs. We play that record over and over again. Mind you, that is not a mantra. That’s a pattern of self care disaster, burn out and hidden bitterness.
That’s the context in which I have a hard time taking the good medicine of a Me Day.
I know I am not in this boat alone. Most of you reading this have an excellent sense of how to care for others. In comparison, you have a much less tangible sense of how to love yourself, especially via a Me Day.
The Evidence
For example, any time a woman I know is asked to give gift ideas for her b-day, radio silence follows. Most of the time it takes hours or days to receive a reply to that question. When the answer comes, she starts with, I really don’t want any gifts except to be with the ones I love but if you must have a list, here goes. I suspect it takes some time to settle with the idea of making known what you desire – – even if it’s as simple as making a b-day gift list, or a Me Day.
How My Me Day Began
This past Sunday morning, I was lingering in the dark with indecision moving about my mind. Instead of staying there, I am learning to skip over my low grade anxiety, overwhelm and indecision. I’ve concluded that I have grown out of early morning anxiety but my body and mind haven’t yet learned a more peaceful default. Therefore, instead of attending to my low grade anxiety, I’ve started asking this question to God:
What are You doing today?
This is a new conversation opener for me. I figure that if I ask the only other person present in the dark with me what He’s doing today, I will be lead to INSPIRATION over my low grade anxiety, overwhelm and indecision. After you read my notes below, I hope you try your version of this question. The switch appears to be making progress when it comes to giving my tingling chest and overactive mind something positive to inquiry.
The first time I pondered the question – – what are you doing today? – – I switched gears and questioned whether God even had the time to attend to the eight billion of us on planet earth. Was he splitting us up over the seven days of the week, thirty days of the month, over each quarter? I know this can’t be true. But, what the heck? There aren’t enough hours in the day for all of us?? Plus running the natural world!? The real time necessary presents a problem for our finite planet.
As I settled into my thoughts and prayers, the image of a roaring ocean wave came to mind. The wave was so big, wide and powerful that it encompassed the past, present and future in an exceedingly perfect motion forward. The wave symbolized God’s capacity to care for each one of us, every single day. Simultaneously and Without Pause. The breadth, power and might of His Spirit is more than enough to carry the day for the eight billion of us on planet earth. Plus holding together and orchestrating the natural world.
Actually, This is How My Me Day Began
The next time I asked this question – – what are you doing today? – – the concept of the Me Day came to mind. In other words, I asked God my question and he answered by giving me something good to do. That’s what God is doing today – – giving me/us something good to do.
As I said, I initially I resisted the concept because Me Day doesn’t feel very Jesus worthy. However, as I rested in the dark this past Sunday morning, God brought to my mind my output over the last week.
I served my business, my family and my friends. I stuck like glue to my productivity plans. I took care of my body. I planted seeds spiritually for growth. In the end, I decided that God’s direction was more true than whatever I felt was true. I went in the direction of the Me Day. To be clear, God didn’t ordain an itemized list, but he sent me in a direction. His direction was a good direction, and Sunday was a good day. I am writing you a list of the little things I did this Sunday at the bottom of this post. You can download the list and write your own.
After all of this, if Me Day still sounds selfishly awful to you, spend some time lingering in the dark and ask God what he is up to today? You may be completely blessed and totally surprised by what He has in store for you – – if you will only ask and listen.
My Me Day
- I cleared my home desk and drawers and looked at all the things that make me feel happy, accomplished and inspired.
- I reinstated my subscription to a monthly gift I love to receive from an artist in Colorado.
- I let my hair dry in the sun.
- I unexpectedly ran into a Warehouse Clearance and bought my college kid an Easter gift.
- I had lunch with my daughter.
- I bought new walking sneakers which is something I said I would do after my second service trip to Mexico, but hadn’t yet.
- I had a hot Turmeric, oat milk Latte.
Love,
Sasha
